


Brutally Honest

by mydeira, Sadbhyl



Series: Responsible Adults (aka, The Menageaverse) [90]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-11
Updated: 2013-04-11
Packaged: 2017-12-08 04:56:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/757299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydeira/pseuds/mydeira, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadbhyl/pseuds/Sadbhyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ethan’s drawing sets off some interesting conversation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brutally Honest

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published October 20, 2005
> 
> Spoilers through “Dirty Girls”. Why oh why are the shortest pieces the most work? Why??? Anyone? Thank you to [](http://sadbhyl.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://sadbhyl.livejournal.com/)**sadbhyl** for keeping me going through the multiple drafts. And thank you to Joyce for finally figuring out how she wanted this to play out.

Giles stared at the folded piece of paper Faith had given him. He didn’t need to open it to know what lay inside. It wasn’t the heavy bond drawing paper that gave it away. He just knew. There was no other way to explain it. He had been expecting something like this since Ethan had betrayed them. Self-serving as the man could be, he rarely ever welshed on a deal.

The ruthless, calculating eyes of Ripper stared up at Giles from the page. While the original drawing had depicted the soul of Rupert Giles in the body of young Ripper, this one showed the reverse. The power and savage violence were now held carefully in check, hidden beneath middle age, wisdom, remorse. Yet the benign cover made that glimmer more impressive than the toned litheness of youth ever had.

Giles had asked Ethan to draw him alone, and he had. Strip away the people around him, the roles he played, his garments, everything . . . naked, exposed, this is who Giles was. With no other context to define himself by, to hide behind, this was who he truly was.

Ethan always possessed great insight with his drawings. And in them, he never lied. He couldn’t lie. Just as he had once glimpsed Willow’s darkness, Joyce’s radiance, he had now captured Giles the man.

“Rupert?” Joyce asked with quiet concern, her hand resting gently against his that held the drawing, stilling the shaking he hadn’t notice until that moment.

Be careful what you wish for. There was no need for a vengeance demon to teach him that lesson when here it was so clearly displayed in black and white.

“I asked him why he never drew me alone. He said because I was never alone. And now I understand why that is,” Giles replied, deceptively calm. He was anything but calm at the moment. The truth was rarely pleasant.

She grasped the paper, silently asking for permission before taking it from his hand. She gasped when she saw what was on the page. “Oh, Rupert,” she said, her voice filled with a mixture of sadness and awe.

The picture itself was innocuous, aesthetically pleasing. It depicted Giles in complete repose on Ethan’s bed, sprawled out in post-coital contentment. Unintimidating, the beast at rest. But the eyes revealed the lie. This wasn’t rest so much as a lying in wait, lulling the observer into complacency, until he could strike with such brutality that—

“Why would he give this to you now?” Joyce asked, interrupting his thoughts.

“Pain. Why else?” he snapped. “Ethan doesn’t need a reason, haven’t you figured that out yet, Joyce?”

Her eyebrows lowered, her face hardening. “I understand your anger,” she said evenly, “but don’t take it out on me.”

Giles sighed. “I’m sorry, Joyce. I—There’s no reason I should take this out on you.”

Joyce relaxed slightly. “Now, without taking my head off this time, do you have any idea why he would send this to you?”

“As opposed to when? Never? A few months ago?” She nodded. “To taunt me I suppose, with what was, what isn’t, what he knows . . .”

“Maybe he sent it to tempt you,” she suggested. He must have looked as confused as he felt because she went on to explain. “You think I can’t see what you see in this picture? After all we’ve been through, I know Ripper when I see him. This is Ripper looking out at me, not Rupert. Whether you’re aware of it or not, this is who I’ve been seeing more and more these last few weeks.”

The observation shouldn’t have surprised him, and yet for some reason it did. But they were at war, and Ripper was far better suited for front-line battle that Rupert Giles had ever been. He was quick to act and didn’t let emotions get in his way. Which was probably part of the reason Giles had fucked things up so badly with the whole Spike-Wood issue.

Giles shook off the thoughts. He could dwell on that later. Instead, he brought himself back to what Joyce had said initially. “What do you mean by tempt me?”

“He wants Ripper to come out and play,” she answered, looking at him unflinchingly.

“As you’ve already pointed out, Ripper has needed little incentive recently to come out and play.”

“I said I’ve seen Ripper, I didn’t say you were Ripper. He’s been coloring your actions and your words, but ultimately you’re still in control. Am I right?” The question was just for emphasis. She knew him too well.

“It’s why I’ve made such a cock-up of everything lately,” Giles admitted.

“Because you’re fighting yourself,” Joyce said pointedly. “You’re too emotionally involved in everything and you’ve been trying to function as if that weren’t the case. That’s why things haven’t been going well for you.” She continued before he could comment. “What I mean is that you’re so invested in this personally that you’ve pulled back, tried to detach yourself from things to get the job done. And that’s when Ripper takes over. Which is what Ethan wants. He wants Ripper in control. Ripper who doesn’t think, just acts without regards to those around him. He won’t need to do a thing to destroy us. You’ll do the work for him.”

“I am doing the work for him,” he said bitterly, thinking of how Buffy was still barely speaking to him.

“You need to stop, Rupert,” Joyce said, her free hand coming to rest on his forearm. “You need to stop pushing your emotions to the side. Ethan betrayed you. It hurts like hell. All the more because you still care for him. Those kind of feeling aren’t something you can turn off as much as you would like to. And trying to only causes more problems.”

“So I’m supposed to let myself feel?” he laughed. There really wasn’t any other response he could have.

“And start using your head.” She smiled, easing her words.

If Ethan wanted Ripper, give him Rupert. It was time for Giles to stop letting Ethan bait him into old, predictable patterns. Now was the time for intellect, not thuggery. In the grand scheme of things Giles doubted it would do much good, but it had to be better than what he was doing.

“Thank you, Joyce,” he said, wrapping her in his arms and kissing her lightly on the forehead.

“I do what I can,” she replied as she nestled close against his chest. Joyce was quiet for a moment before she spoke again, her words halting, as though it took great effort to say them. “He still draws like he cares.”

Giles had to agree. It was amazing that while Ethan could render his subjects with such brutal honesty, he could still manage to lie at the same time.  



End file.
